Your Reality Is Not Mine

I propose to share this reflection with you, simply risking that you, who are there on the other side of the screen, do not share my opinion, but are part of this dead-end game…

You will understand later on.

Stop for a moment and think.

You, with your virtues and defects, your experiences and dreams, from anywhere in the world, wherever you are, look at life and what happens according to your peculiarities and preferences.

I, with my virtues and my faults, my experiences and dreams, from anywhere in the world, wherever I am, I look at life and what happens according to my peculiarities and preferences.

And in our dialogue we try to change our worlds thinking, sometimes, that it is the same. So, sometimes, it takes us a long time to reach an agreement.

In fact, both of us could have witnessed the same event or participated in the same situation, but each of us will have lived it in our own way, according to our experience, preferences, beliefs, etc. That is, according to each person’s way of being.

That’s why any opinion is as valid as ours, hence the relativism of what was lived, the subjectivity of our worlds and the construction of our realities.

You with all your experience, me with all my baggage, even though we’re at the same point and looking at what might look the same, we have different realities.

Let’s look at an example:

Imagine that we were invited to a party and decided to go. But just before leaving, a friend calls to confirm that you will start working at your company, which is definitive; on the other hand, i argued with my partner and we finally decided to split up. What my body asks is for me to stay at home, but I am full of desire and I think that taking refuge in my interior will sink me even further. So, I decide to continue with the program I had.

There we met. You radiant with happiness, I drowned in sadness, trying to disguise it.

Even so, we eat, we talk, we dance… and at a certain moment a song plays that reminds me of him, I can’t help it and the party atmosphere turns into something confusing for me, nostalgic and melancholy. While you keep dancing like there’s no tomorrow… and I finally decide to go home. You still want to stay a little longer.

When remembering the party celebrated the night before, I remember that song that made me sad, the dishes he liked so much and me acting covertly all the time so that no one would notice my sadness. Whereas you remembered the moments when you danced with enthusiasm and when you were more outgoing and fun than usual.

Looks like we went to two different parties, doesn’t it? The point is, it was the same, but you made the most of it and I made the least, each focusing their attention on different things.

Do you want more proof?

Often, when we talk about feelings or abstract concepts such as love, friendship, trust or freedom, we believe we are talking about the same, but there are differences.

I propose that you ask your partner what these concepts mean to him. You will probably be surprised how he sees them. Each has its own nuances.

That’s why, when we talk, it’s important to ask the other what the meaning of what we’re saying is for him. That way, you will get to know your perspective. Your world, your reality.

The meeting between two people is the confluence of two worlds, two realities that often talk to show themselves and get to know each other.

Therefore, it is necessary to be kind to each other and not try to demand or impose our vision. Keep in mind that what I have lived has nothing to do with your experience.

Remember: we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.

Dare to discover other worlds, other realities!