Years Of Education And We Still Don’t Know How To Love Ourselves

Messy. Unfit. Hyperactive. Unmotivated. Difficult. There are many, very many labels that children receive throughout their school education, and few eyes stop to understand what emotion is hidden behind each difficult student.

It is curious how in scenarios such as business or politics, emotional intelligence is already valued as an essential and structuring thing for any professional, while educational institutions, deficient in this aspect, do not consider emotional intelligence as a competence to be enhanced.

The weight of cognitive skills remains essential for the academic system. In turn, emotions are seen as this “taboo” aspect that is better restricted to the private sphere, to the loneliness of each child in their delicate attempt to know themselves in an increasingly complex world.

An education that forms minds but not people

Today’s children and teenagers are skilled strategists in new technologies. Emoticons in your text messages are often your only approach to the world of emotions. But when they move away from mobile devices, they are unable to manage or prevent situations such as bullying.

Begoña Ibarrola, psychologist and researcher, explains that in institutes where emotional intelligence was integrated into classrooms and the school curriculum, harassment behaviors disappeared and academic performance improved remarkably. This gives us hope, without a doubt.

If we ask ourselves now why the step towards this much-needed transformation in our education is not being taken, we will have to think a little about these aspects to reflect for a few minutes:

• The curriculum design is determined, in many cases, by a political tendency that defines the type of study plan it considers most appropriate.
• The cognitive burden remains deeply ingrained in our school system despite theories such as “Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences” speak of the clear need to work early on emotional intelligence in children.

Furthermore, it is necessary to consider that any change at the institutional level requires time. A clear social awareness is needed, because investing in emotions is investing in conviviality, learning to be more apt in human relationships, in respect, and in this shift in focus where the need to educate perfect children to form happy people is put aside.

Let’s raise unique children, not equal students

In a society full of changes like ours and with a very high professional competition, it doesn’t do much to train equal students, specialists in the same subjects. It is necessary to prioritize human value, enhance the child’s natural abilities so that, by themselves, they discover what is their best and offer it to the world so that they “be unique”.

One aspect to consider is that we often let the entire burden of a child’s education fall on academic institutions. It’s the wrong approach: we are all educating agents, and the family is this essential scenario that we need to value a lot.

The family, the first scenario of emotional intelligence

The realm of neuroscience makes this very clear: the emotional and enabling context in which a child grows up in his early years of life will largely determine his later development and even his personality.

• Recognition, reciprocity, secure attachment and emotional communication are balance threads that will allow the child to grow in freedom and maturity.
• If you want to give the world a child who can respect others, listen and use affection over aggression, then be a role model. Take care of your words, your judgments and your attitudes, be the best example.

The school, a microcosm of the social scene

For children, school will be a clear example of the world they will have to face tomorrow. The relationships with your peers and with the authority figure (teachers and professors) will help you to acquire new and important skills.

• In institutes where emotionally healthy habits and tools are already applied, we see that children are very receptive to this kind of knowledge.
• They are integrated into everyday life because they see that they work, that they are useful strategies with which to improve their relationships and be more assertive when it comes to preventing aggression or establishing friendships.

• Emotional intelligence becomes a habit capable of optimizing the way you learn, channeling anxiety and nervousness. All of this allows your academic results to be better and your personality to be much more secure.