Wanting Is Not Power, But Desire Keeps Us Alive

Wanting is not power. There is a distance, sometimes infinite, between a desire and its fulfillment. For better or for worse, our mind does not govern reality. Our power is limited, our expectations fragile, the common mistake, everyday, expensive and happy when it really makes us grow, when it is a foothold and not just a slippery slope. Definitely wanting is not power.

The other day I was listening to a radio announcer praising a love song after playing so many love songs, hearts in love instead of broken hearts. We are not who we want to be, because our attempt is valid but time takes us to the next wish. On the other hand, there are relationships that end, whereas love never ends. He survives time, which does not appease him.

Wanting is not power: desire and control

Lack of control is not pathological, but obsession or certain strategies that purport to be an adaptation are. Repetition gives us security, but compulsion is the best food for anxiety.

Diagnostic manuals, in the hands of a neophyte, only lead to excessive pathologization of the population. We would all fit, more or less, in some frame, just as our uncertain future can be “predicted” by the horoscope. Even a stopped clock is correct twice a day.

The difference between a broken heart and a whole heart is hope. Whoever has it lives, whoever doesn’t, dies. That’s why it’s the last thing we lose, our last skin before we become ghosts. Without it, we are just vulnerable; therefore, when it is shared, we can find intimacy with another person.

We are all dependents. We are able to give everything when we are in the right place, but also to become selfish when we feel threatened or feel that we have been left alone to face life.

We separate from the victim or the executioner, trying to find elements that can distinguish us, such as a bad childhood or a happy childhood. However, social psychology tells us that, under very specific conditions, everyone or almost everyone would be capable of committing acts that they would later censor. Fear is such a powerful emotion that it can make us deny our essence. There are precipices we prefer not to recognize. Therefore, wanting is not power.

life and motivation

When we talk about adolescence, we often talk about the importance of peers, the value we place when we feel part of a group. Getting this validation is very important. However, we often forget that this motivation remains present throughout life.

Furthermore, we are talking about a motivation that also works in the opposite direction: we can come to criticize an idea – regardless of its content – ​​because it is supported by a group with which we are not related. This is a phenomenon that occurs frequently in politics.

It’s a difficult situation to analyze; The guilt, the fear, the unhealed wounds, the words we keep weigh heavily. There is the recess of parallel lives and when our life does not go well. The trap of judging ourselves knowing the consequences. Nobody wants to suffer, but most suffer when they feel they have hurt the other.

Forgetting is not irrefutable proof of disinterest. Our memory is capricious and sometimes hides words on the tip of our tongue. Our attention quickly wears off.

Values ​​with a true value

Honesty is perhaps the scarcest value. We’ve all been judged a thousand times, we’ve gone through betrayals that hurt us. We were often thought of as fools for being good.

There is a set of variables that are beyond our control and that have a lot to do with our destiny. In part, therefore, wanting is not power, there is no determinism in the end result.

Wanting is craving or craving, but the rest of the equation is also important. What resources do we have? What margin do we have? Realism separates itself from pessimism the moment it gives us options.

Far beyond ‘wanting is not being able’

Wanting is not power, necessarily. This does not prevent, sometimes, with our desire, we can achieve the Pygmalion effect or a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we believe that we are going to be cured, we are more faithful to the treatment that has been prescribed for us. This does not invalidate our ability to face competition or try to find solutions to problems that arise.

In this sense, impossibility demands possibility. In fact, she values ​​intelligence in decision-making, our human side to overcome mistrust and bet on honesty or generosity in the face of selfishness, the easy response when fear arises. Wanting is not power; in return, wanting is a sign of life. If hope is our last skin, it’s desire that keeps us alive.