There Are Cruel People Disguised As Good People

There are cruel people disguised as good people. They are beings who hurt, who attack through a Machiavellian emotional blackmail based on fear, aggression and guilt. They appear to be altruistic people, but they actually hide hidden interests and deep frustrations. 

It is often said that “those who hurt do it because at some point in their life they have also been hurt”. That whoever was hurt, hurts. However, although behind these ideas there is a true basis, there is another aspect that is always difficult to admit: The evil exists. Cruel people sometimes have certain biological components that push them toward certain aggressive behaviors.

The scientist and popularizer Marcelino Cereijudo tells us something interesting. “ There is no evil gene, but there are certain biological and cultural aspects that can provide it”. The most complex part of this theme is that very often we tend to look for labels and pathologies in behaviors that simply do not fit into psychodiagnostic manuals.

Malicious acts can occur without necessarily having an underlying psychological illness. All of us, at some point in our lives, have already met a person with this type of profile. Beings that present us with flattery and attention. Pleasant people, with social success, but who in private cast a dark and extended shadow. In the depths of their hearts breathes cruelty, lack of empathy, and even aggression. 

Cruel people and the moral molecule

As we said before, to date no one has been able to identify the existence of the evil gene. However,  in recent years studies have increased on a fascinating aspect: the so-called “moral molecule”. To better understand what this structure is, we will contextualize ourselves from a real story. A terrible story, which unfortunately happens all too often.

Hans Reiser is an American programmer famous for creating the ReiserFS files. He is currently, and since 2008, in Mule Creek Prison for murdering his wife. He had no problem pleading guilty and revealing where he buried Nina Reiser’s body. As a curious fact, it is worth saying that  this programming specialist has a prodigious intelligence,  to the point of having started his university studies as a teenager.

After a quick trial and having entered the San Quintín prison, he decided to prepare his appeal himself. Through 5 handwritten sheets, he argued that his brain worked differently. Reiser was aware of the studies being carried out on oxytocin and used it as an argument. According to him, he was born with the following problem:  his brain did not produce the so-called moral molecule. It lacked empathy. 

Obviously, and as was to be expected, this argument did not prevent him from serving the life sentence. However, the issue of the origin of evil came back into debate. These days, full value is given to the fact that  oxytocin is the hormone that makes us “human” in its most authentic aspect. Educated people concerned about helping, caring and empathizing with our fellow men.

How to defend against covert cruelty

In our daily lives, we do not always relate to people as cruel as the one mentioned above. However,  we are victims of other types of interactions: those of false kindness,  covert aggression, manipulation, subtle selfishness, the most harmful irony, etc.

These behaviors can be the result of several aspects. Lack of emotional intelligence, an unaffected environment where the person grew up, or even a deficit in oxytocin release. All of this will perhaps determine this more or less covert aggressiveness. Anyway,  we cannot forget that when we talk about aggressiveness, we are not referring exclusively to physical damage. 

Emotional, instrumental or verbal aggression are less denounceable wounds due to the need to prove themselves, but they are more common and for this reason we have to defend ourselves. We’ll explain how.

Cruel people: knowing how to recognize them and avoid them

We can all be victims of cruel people. It doesn’t matter our age, status or our previous experiences. This type of person can be found in the midst of the family, in work environments and in any other setting. However, we can identify them in several ways.

• The dark-hearted person will seduce us with a lie. They will camouflage themselves behind pretty words and noble deeds, but little by little blackmail will emerge. And later, the creation of fear, guilt and mental violence.

• Faced with these mechanisms, there is only one option: non-tolerance. It doesn’t matter whether it’s our sister, our partner or a co-worker. The disturbers of calm and balance seek only one thing: to break our self-esteem to take control.

• We will have the clear feeling that there is no way out. That they have us in their nets. However, it is worth remembering that  “he who owns himself is more powerful”. Therefore, it is important to end the game of domination and aggressiveness with determination.

The games of dominance and covert aggression are very complex. However, it is necessary to act quickly to remove traps and respond to hidden threats. When we feel discomfort or concern about certain behaviors, there is only one option: distance.

Images courtesy of Christian Schloe.