The Motivation Trap: Waiting For The Will To Magically Appear

Who doesn’t like to be motivated? Enjoying that impulse that drives us to keep going, to move forward, that whispers to us that it’s possible to fulfill our dreams and that encourages us to fight because we’re inspired is really fascinating. However, there are many who fall into the motivation trap when their strength fails and disillusionment and doubts become present, or when they want to achieve something but don’t know where to start.

What is motivation?

According to the English physician and psychotherapist Russ Harris, not having motivation is impossible, since in every action we take there is a certain degree of underlying motivation. Somehow, every behavior we put into practice is intended to achieve something.

Have a conversation, eat a candy, drive, let us know we are sick, make a phone call, sit on the couch, read a book, or talk about any topic; each and every one of the above actions has a purpose, an intention, a motivation, even if we didn’t realize it.

So what is motivation? According to Harris, in the desire to do something. Being motivated is not feeling a powerful magic that makes us act suddenly, nor a divine inspiration that floods us, but a desire to do something. Just like that.

For a better understanding, let’s expose an example. A person has been writing a book for months, but a week ago he realized he’s unmotivated because he doesn’t have time and comes home tired from work. She doesn’t write anymore, and spends that time watching television or lying on the couch.

In this situation, the desire to watch television or lie on the couch is much greater than the desire to continue writing the book. The person thinks he wants to write, but he doesn’t have the will or the time, he’s exhausted. However, what is the purpose of watching television or staying on the couch?

Maybe it’s relaxing, being comfortable or calm, or feeling good in the short term by avoiding the hassle of writing. What happens is that, in the long run, it doesn’t help the person to achieve their dream.

In fact, instead of being unmotivated, what happens is that the motivation to avoid the malaise and do what you want in the long run imposes itself on the motivation to write, publish a book and share your best self with the others.

So when we say we’re not motivated, what we really mean is that we want to do something that’s important to us, but we ‘re not willing to do it if we’re not happy, secure, confident, and energized.

So, as long as we are tired, insecure, suspicious or lazy, we will hardly dedicate ourselves to that task…

The motivation trap

If we understand motivation as a feeling, it is very likely that we will end up stagnant. So, when we feel good, positive and excited, we will say we are motivated, but if these feelings fade or disappear, we will say we are unmotivated. Why?

It’s very simple. Motivation as a feeling causes us to fall into the trap of pretending to experience the proper feelings before taking any action, so we are stuck waiting.

This is the trap of motivation. The question is, do you really believe that motivation will magically appear?

If we recognize motivation as a desire rather than a feeling, everything will be different, as it will be possible to change our behavior. In this way, we will be able to assess the different desires we have and recognize what motivates each of our decisions.

Furthermore, we will be able to differentiate between desires aimed at avoiding discomfort and those that are in line with our values.

It’s up to us to want a life ruled by avoidance or a life ruled by our values. We cannot forget that one of our most basic instincts is the desire to avoid discomfort, so it is not possible to eliminate this tendency, but rather to decide to act according to our values. It’s not that we have to be motivated, but committed to what we want.

Thus, according to Russ Harris, committed action is the first step; feeling motivated comes later. That is, first actions and then feelings. It is much more enriching and satisfying to act in accordance with our values.

The feelings we want may come later, although this is not always the case, as there are no guarantees with regard to the feelings.

the arguments of our mind

To the motivation trap we need to add all the messages that the media, some books and people constantly send us about what are the necessary strategies to be motivated. Generally, they usually mention two aspects: discipline and willpower.

What happens is that if we believe this, we will fall back into the motivation trap.

• First, let’s keep looking for a magic formula that makes us feel motivated rather than committed to action.

• Second, when we don’t find it, we will make the decision to stop doing what we care about because the discipline and willpower we have are not enough.

If we reflect on this, we will realize that both discipline and willpower are other ways of naming commitment according to a series of values, as well as doing whatever it takes to get what we want, albeit at times don’t feel like it.

It is necessary to discard the belief that the will appears by magic and start to cultivate an attitude committed to our goal. Because we mustn’t forget that, first, it needs to be consistent with our values, regardless of how we feel. Once this habit is established, the feeling of discipline or willpower will emerge.

So it’s time to leave the motivation waiting room and take the step to commit to your goal in accordance with your value system. Only then will that desire emerge that we so much desire and that, in some way, drives us to realize our dreams.