The Fear Of Being Happy
Certain phobias, such as spiders or heights, are quite common. What is not so often, and seems less logical, is finding someone afraid to be happy. This “revulsion” for happiness, understood as joy and pleasure, can represent an obstacle to well-being and, consequently, to health.
This phobia of happiness can have very different origins, which can range from a very strict education, to the accumulation of many responsibilities or an unwanted loneliness that suffocates us. Below, we give some strategies for reversing this situation.
How to stop self-sabotage?
Let’s go to the strategies we announced.
1. Identify self-destructive habits
First, it is best to identify all the habits that have a self-destructive character, either because they are part of our routine or because we participate in them exceptionally and have left a deep mark on us.
A good idea when we feel guilty or are overwhelmed by another feeling is to look at the situation that stimulated it. In this way, we can go back to that moment once the fog has passed and reformulate it. Once this is done, it will be harder to spoil a pleasant moment again.
2. Fighting yourself feeds fear
Some people run away from calm as if it were a torment. They don’t conceive of a worry-free life, so if they don’t see any, they get binoculars to see ahead. They don’t know peace, tranquility, rest beyond hours of sleep.
In general, we talk about people who take the motto that says: “prevention is better than cure”. Thus, they constantly compete with life to anticipate any danger, generating others, since their way of proceeding is basically a relentless attack on their health.
3. Avoid and reject limits
Sometimes, we impose limits that are a mere artifice. One of them would be “not expressing what we feel or think”. So when we follow this self-imposed law, we make it difficult for others to know or help us.
Furthermore, this lack of emotional expression does not just refer to negative valence emotions such as sadness or anger. On many occasions and for many people, positive valence emotions need to breathe inside a straitjacket. They think that giving free rein to their joy is almost a sin … with the amount of worries that plague them. This is precisely the central idea of Umberto Eco’s best-known work, O Nome da Rosa.
4. Trust in your own happiness
Another important aspect to keep in mind is that happiness has little to do with justice. There will be situations in which we will not accumulate merit and which will favor us over others who will turn their backs on us, despite having invested heavily in them. The important thing in this regard is to take advantage of what appears.
How to analyze the fear of being happy?
Once you are aware that the fear of being happy is not a real problem and that you can resolve it, try to find the source of the situation and the elements that somehow feed your emotional state. They will be your goal.
1. Therapy is a great help in the face of fear
If you feel that the problem is a hole you can’t get out of, or you feel worse and worse when you experience a moment of happiness, you can turn to a professional therapist to help you analyze more objectively the source of the problem. and its possible solutions.
Don’t be ashamed to follow this path. Think, do you also feel embarrassed when you go to the doctor?
2. Trusting the people you love
Family and friends will always be a good support to solve problems, as well as to let off steam, see the situation from another perspective and count on the opinion and sincere support of those who love us.
Therefore, sharing your feelings with friends or family can be a great help in seeing the situation you are facing from a different point of view.
In addition, the support and understanding of others will prevent you from being overwhelmed by an unwanted feeling of loneliness and therefore the fear of being happy. Finally, this support will tend to feed back. If you ask for help, others are likely to ask you too, resulting in agreements that can benefit everyone.
