Love Yourself Enough To Know When To Leave

If there is one thing that is very difficult, it is knowing when to leave a person’s life so that it can become, thus, a beloved memory and not a hated custom. Knowing how to say goodbye is the art of suffering, but also of learning.

According to a survey published in the space “Study.com” the main reason why we decided to walk away and terminate a relationship is because of the feeling of inequality in the couple. These are cases where the contributions of each one are different and where the cost in “pain coin” is very high compared to the few benefits.

Love and suffering should never go together in a loving relationship. This is something that not everyone understands, as the concept of “romantic love” still makes us believe in these false ideas. If you love yourself enough, you must not allow yourself to go to these extremes… Let’s reflect on this.

When to leave is the only option

A loving relationship, like every living being, undergoes continual changes. Now, each change is intended to strengthen the bond and allow us to get to know each other much better without either of us losing too much. The relationship needs to flow.

Love is, above all, a choice we make in freedom. However, love is often one of the main causes of human suffering. Before falling into this state of emotional pain, it is necessary to know how to say goodbye in time, thus avoiding stretching situations that are actually destructive.

These are the main aspects that we should consider in order to understand that “going away is your only option”.

• Assess whether the problem that brought you to the current situation has a solution.
• Faced with a moment of crisis, it is necessary for both parties to make equal efforts or at least for each one to have this perception of the other. Any imbalance causes only one part to offer their energy, their hope and their personal sacrifices while the other is limited to receiving without offering anything in return.
• Try to project your current situation into the distant future. Do you think 10 years from now you would be happy if things were the way they are now?

If faced with these issues you consider that there is nothing possible or solution, you will have to find the strength in yourself to say goodbye, to go away and close this personal and affective circle loaded with suffering.

Ideas that prevent us from ending a love relationship

In a loving relationship we cling to certain erroneous beliefs and emotions that, in case of unhappiness, often prevent us from being objective and seeing reality. Always remember that the blind is not love, but false illusions that we build ourselves.

Art usually represents love with a blindfold on the eyes and wings on the back: the blindfold serves to avoid seeing obstacles, but fortunately they give us two wings to be able to overcome them.

The ideas that prevent us from putting an end to a relationship are actually too many commas and some semicolon that far from saving the relationship, lengthen the unnecessary suffering that increases the vulnerability of one’s self-esteem. Therefore, it is important to consider these concepts:

• Avoid self-deception, things will not always go as you wish. Think about it: maybe you’ve forgiven more than necessary until you’ve forgotten where your limits were, or you’ve used “let’s try again” many times without seeing any different results.
• The other person will not change for you. Actually people don’t change; it’s very likely that they weren’t what you thought at first, and that’s something you need to consider. Nobody changes their way of being overnight, no matter how much we want to.
• Suffering for love is not a heroic or romantic gesture, it is a form of self-destruction. If you were made to believe that having a partner is having to suffer and set up an ongoing fight, you have been deceived. Being a couple is knowing how to build and love without suffering being more than circumstantial.

• Don’t be afraid of loneliness. According to a survey conducted by Brigham Young University of Utah (United States), one of the main fears of the population is “being alone”. For many, it is better to be in bad company than alone. Never fall for that idea.

Love yourself enough to know when to leave, your own solitude will always be preferable to a presence that vetoes your own happiness and inner balance. Loving is not giving everything for nothing, it is seeing yourself as deserving of recognition and respect. Allowing you to be loved and loving is an art, it is the skill of cultivating real affection.