If You Think It’s Hard To End, Try Not To

We are sometimes reluctant to write an ending to what literally “bitters our lives.” Often these behaviors, relationships or thought patterns respond to a need: to avoid an immediate discomfort. We avoid confronting reality by taking refuge in pain, which becomes therapeutic because it is commonplace.

What happens is that this punctual avoidance of pain, without looking any further, sometimes leads to a vital disaster. We extend relationships with people who humiliate us at a low price or we are stuck in habits that cannot bring us closer to what we want in the long run. Sometimes we have to change ourselves and other times we just have to put an end to it. And in other cases, you have to do both.

Put an end to what doesn’t work

We need to be aware of which aspects of our lives are no longer favoring or compensating us, that the only thing they do is give us bad times to collect. In deciding whether we have reached a point of no return in a relationship, the following points for reflection will be very helpful:

• How often does a person make you feel bad and make you feel good? Being immersed in a series of excuses and excuses from the other person is not a good sign.
• What kinds of habits are holding you back in a routine that isn’t ideal for achieving what you want in the short term or for coping with your current malaise?
• What thought patterns lead you to neurosis? Thinking about what has no solution, bringing a personal problem to your work, constantly thinking about what you have to do, etc.

The price of not putting an end is high: destroying your self-esteem.  Sometimes it’s inevitable that they hurt us and let us down. This is beyond your control, but how you react to this damage and the aggressor will make a difference. If you keep giving opportunities or justifying behaviors that are no longer justified, you will be destroying your self-esteem. Assume you have lost control, not only of what they do to you but also what you do to yourself constantly.

It’s hard to put an end, but imagine not doing it

It could be toxic habits or relationships from many years that you’ve allowed to consume you, that constantly spoil your emotional well-being and your dreams. You can continue within this dynamic because you find yourself unable to live in a way that does not involve this eternal malaise.

The time has come to be healthily selfish. Stop what harms you, focus on what is healthy and renew your life scenario… don’t accept to continue boycotting your dignity. The price of not ending it is that one day you will have to do it in an even more traumatic way, with a lot more damage and having wasted even more time.

If we don’t put an end to what is constantly eroding our inner peace, we will never find rest in our lives. Put an end to what should have ended right after it started. If you don’t, expect an irreversible emotional drain that neither you nor anyone else deserves.

– I’ve changed a lot.

– So much?

– Radically.

I’ve never had a heart so red.

It’s good that life has several circles. But mine, my life, just took a turn, and not completely. The most important thing is missing.

I’ve written your name inside so many times. And here, right now, I can’t close anything. I’m alone.

I will stay here as long as necessary. I’m waiting for the coincidence of my life, the biggest of all, and that’s what I’ve lived through, of all kinds. Yes. I could tie my life together by joining coincidences. The first and most important was the worst…”

-Lovers of the Polar Circle-

Your life deserves a fresh start every time it takes

It is important to give yourself enough permissions to be able to start again without fear or guilt. In life, everything changes and changes, and it is how we know how to detect these changes that makes the difference between people who constantly renew themselves and those who end up living forever in their past dramas.

You may have many stories in your path, but staying in one longer than necessary spoils the healthy decision to tread different paths. Engaging in repeating over and over again the same situations that make you uncomfortable is not just masochism, it is giving power over you to someone or something that should never have you.