I Like People Who Come To Me For No Reason And Have No Strings Attached

We could say that our daily lives are composed of a complex social kaleidoscope where emotions and feelings can be very different and even contradictory.

Reflect with us now on a very simple question: How many “authentic” people are there in your life? Think not only about your friendships, but also about your family.

It is possible that the count of these people does not reach the fingers of one hand. They are pillars in your daily life, pivots in your soul, in your heart, references that never fail, and with whom you can be yourself, without fear of judgment.

Let’s talk today in our space about people who come to us every day for no reason, just because they do, because you exist, because they are you.

Friends, loves and family… Meaningful people who are in your life with no strings attached, no weights and no suffocation. Just sharing life, enriching it.

The kind of people we include in our lives

We are used to saying that people come into the world like fallen from a chimney.

No one has the option to choose a family type or the style of rearing they will receive from it. We cannot change our families, but over the years, we can choose how we relate to her.

On the other hand, the same does not happen when we leave this first family sphere to enter the complex field of social and affective relationships. What kind of people do you usually include in your life?

Many types of personalities can come to you. Some will fit into the puzzle of your preferences, the atlas of your affections, and the field of your emotions, but…

How do we know which people are best suited to give us authentic happiness?

The value of reciprocity

It’s not a “I gave you this and now you owe me that”. There is nothing material; it is an emotional reciprocity and a compatibility  where blackmail does not exist, and even less the need for the other person to fill in gaps or problems specific to each one of us.

• Reciprocity is knowing that what I invest is reciprocated. If I offer you my support, my emotional openness, and my trust, I expect the same from you.
• The moment there is an imbalance, as soon as one of the parties assumes all the effort, obtaining only needs, this relationship ceases to be “conscious”, because one of the two acts immaturely.
• Reciprocity is also based on recognition.  “I recognize you as someone important in my life, so I expect the same from you.”

the authenticity

There are those who say that there are not many authentic people, that they are all worried about appearing to be what they are not or what they would need to be.

Those who are authentic practice sincerity, but in turn, we know that it is a kind of sincerity that helps and comforts, and that at no time seeks to attack or judge their actions or words.

– Often, and especially in the family environment, the processing and sanctioning technique often appears a lot, the “I already knew it would come to nothing”, “I say this for your own good, but you are not made to undertake this path”.

– People who are authentic, humble and sincere do not judge lightly, nor censure. Because those who are authentic have good self-knowledge and deep empathy.

Be the person who deserves to be looked for first

We must not fall into the mistake of depending on people to be happy, to fill the other half of the sofa or to be the ear of our everyday concerns.

Just as we look for authenticity in others, we should practice the same kind of behavior in ourselves.

• Want people to trust? Demonstrate that you are trustworthy.
• Do you want to be understood? Learn to listen. Learn to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
• Do you want them to contribute joyfully to your life? Work on your own happiness first and learn to offer it.

If you currently have in your closest social context people who come up with interests or ulterior motives, or those types of people who keep putting multiple strings around you, think about what you should do to feel better.