How To Speak With Confidence: The Power Of Self-confidence

Many of us have asked ourselves: how to speak safely? How to express our ideas through the perfect combination of assertiveness, seduction and charisma? We know there are gurus in this area; however, at times we feel almost embarrassed by the advice and the plethora of strategies that exist, because what we really lack is something quite simple: self-confidence.

When we doubt our own effectiveness, everything goes down the drain. We have to admit, this is much more than we would like. It’s on these occasions that our minds fill with ideas like “I’m definitely going to get nervous and screw it up” , “It’s going to be the same as the last time I paid ass” or “I’m not going to be able to show my value because my speech is silly, disjointed and unoriginal”.

These types of circumstances can limit many work and personal opportunities. There are men and women who stand out in their work, brilliant minds who have, curiously, serious problems in communicating, expressing themselves, making their ideas communicate clearly.

Also, something that would please most of us is not just talking confidently, but doing it with charisma and being able to captivate a certain audience.

There are strategies, we know that. However, before learning to use them, it is interesting to know the reason for this problem, this communicative limitation and lack of self-confidence. We will see below.

Why do I find it difficult to speak securely and firmly?

Many of us would like to know how to speak confidently to improve our work or studies. Also to demonstrate security in relationships, convince others of our ideas, be more persuasive, make our messages more effective and even captivate people to improve our marital relationships.

Knowing how to communicate is, in the end, to improve coexistence and consolidate our human potential a little more. However, these issues can be difficult to resolve. The reasons are many; in general, they can be summarized in the following psychological realities:

Excitation of the Autonomic Nervous System

When we have difficulty communicating comfortably, in front of one or several people, the cause is our own insecurity, stress and anguish.

We are afraid of making mistakes or being incompetent, and it is precisely this fear that fuels anxiety. Furthermore, this type of anxiety is produced because our brain encodes these situations as a threat.

The anguish of judgment, of making mistakes or of making a fool of yourself activates our autonomic nervous system and, then, a series of symptoms is triggered: nervousness, tachycardia, dry mouth, lack of appetite, sweating, etc. All of this makes communication even more difficult.

limiting thoughts

Our minds can be a catalyst for strengths or a jailer of self-esteem and potentials. So when our thoughts stem from negative ideas in which we judge ourselves to be stupid or anticipate hundreds of mistakes, this is more likely to happen.

the situational factor

Another indispensable factor is the situational one. There are surroundings, moments and people that exert greater pressure, making us doubt ourselves, that we feel a certain insecurity.

For example, starting a new job where we are expected to have communication resources to attract customers. This pressure creates anguish, especially when we see ourselves as ineffective in this skill. These are elements that put us to the test.

Tips on how to speak safely

To speak with certainty, we must start from our social reality. There are those who just need a little freedom and a gift. Others, however, must make a deeper internal restructuring, in which they can erase insecurities, boost self-esteem, eliminate negative thoughts, better control anxiety, etc.

All of these attitudes take time and require a genuine commitment to yourself. Keeping this aspect in mind and agreeing to stick to it, it’s time to integrate these basic secrets to knowing how to speak safely.

Strategies to communicate better through self-confidence

• Focus on the message you want to get across, that’s the only thing that matters. Let go of other thoughts, fears and anxieties and focus only on what you want to say and who you are going to say.
• Get out of yourself and connect with whoever is in front, whether it’s one person, several or a large audience. Connection is power and you can enjoy this alliance. If you feel comfortable, you will be able to transmit comfort. If you feel fear, it will convey anguish.
• Haste is prohibited when communicating effectively. Take it easy, one idea after another, in harmony, but emphasizing what you say and expressing yourself in a way that others are attracted to.

• Bluntly, avoid repetitions or interjections.
• Appeal to emotions, tell jokes, customize… simplicity always captivates.

Finally, faced with the question of how to speak safely, the answer is simple: lots of practice and self-confidence. When we finally manage to trust ourselves, the fears are not so great, we control insecurities better and we even feel good in situations where, until recently, they seemed to us to be threats.