Habits That Destroy Your Self Love

There are several factors that hinder your ability to appreciate what you do and appreciate what you are. The most important of them is having grown up in the midst of a family where the self-esteem of its members is also limited. Parents who have a bad idea of ​​themselves often convey the same belief to their children.

A child’s lack of self-esteem is manifested in abuse, emotional and/or physical distance, excessive criticism, contempt or indifference. There is no recognition of the child’s personal worth. Without realizing it, the child learns that his feelings and needs are unimportant to those closest to him.

This situation triggers a series of associated events. Those who have little self-esteem are more exposed to abuse outside the home:  they don’t know how to defend themselves and don’t know if they have the right to do so. In addition, the person tends to have a less adequate level in the performance of their work, is more easily distracted and fears triumph.

In adulthood, many continue to form habits to overcome their lack of self-love. They are like distractions or emotional shields, customs that seek to reaffirm your idea that they are worth little. So they build a wall of defense against their own vulnerability. None of these habits help. Below we will talk about some of them.

belittle yourself

When you are the one who speaks ill of yourself, you are not doing yourself any favors. It is not a sign of humility, nor of acknowledgment of your mistakes.

But you are much more than what you were told. You have many virtues and potentials to discover, just start accepting and loving yourself  to see yourself beyond the eyes of others.

Give absolute credit to what others say

You may feel that others “know more”, or “understand better”, or even “have more authority” to say or do certain things. We often don’t stop to assess whether what other people say or do is correct, they just have to say or do it.

If you take a moment to think about it, you may find that you are not like that. Always try to connect with your true perception and value what you find.

victimize yourself

It is possible that, in the face of difficulties, your response is to feel sorry for yourself. You perceive yourself as a helpless child who must resign himself to negative situations and cannot do anything about it.

You still haven’t discovered that you have the resources to face adverse situations. That the important thing is not the evil that happens, but how we receive this evil and what we do with it. If you stop feeling sorry for yourself and think about solutions, you’ll find that even the worst times are also great opportunities.

Demand more of yourself than you are capable of

People with little self-esteem tend to see life in terms of ideal models. It is difficult to propose modest goals and value the achievements achieved. You are always thinking that you must achieve more and that what you have achieved may not be that important. It’s an unconscious trap to always be indebted to yourself.

If you don’t have self love, nothing you do will be enough. Your successes will be worthless compared to other people’s achievements. But make  no mistake: if you don’t start to value yourself, it will be difficult for others to value you. Besides, how are you going to come to like yourself if you can’t applaud yourself as you move forward in life?

Image courtesy of Alejandra Mavroski.