Does The Romeo And Juliet Effect Exist?

Romeo and Juliet is a work by the well-known playwright Shakespeare about a couple in love who struggle with a series of problems that prevent them from being together. Despite their efforts, the two end up committing suicide. As we see, it is a great tragedy. However, this urge to stay together despite everything and even choose death before parting is something that affects many couples. This is called the Romeo and Juliet effect.

Effort, difficulties and struggle are ingredients that, instead of making the members of a relationship decide to separate and thus live in peace, become the fuel they use to fan the fire of passion. They need these ingredients to feel something for the other person. If they are absent, they may believe they are no longer in love. Although it sounds absurd, this has a reason for being.

The dopamine present in the Romeo and Juliet effect

It is known that the habits of couples whose relationship is conditioned by the Romeo and Juliet effect are governed by dopamine. This neurotransmitter, as highlighted in the article Dopamine: synthesis, release of receptors in the Central Nervous System,  participates in the regulation of certain functions, such as emotion and affectivity. When an adverse situation such as the one experienced by Romeo and Juliet occurs, dopamine increases.

The fact that the family is against the union of lovers, of having to marry in secret and then separate by force, generates a biochemical tension that, in some way, is addictive. All of these events increase dopamine production, which has a series of consequences that further fuel the passion between lovers:

• Greater opposition to adversity: the problems that arise and that seek to separate the couple allow new strategies to face them to flourish.
• Strong attachment : the attachment and the exaggerated feeling of wanting to be together increase more and more with each problem that arises and tries to separate the couple.

Disenchantment in the Romeo and Juliet Effect

Of course, in the case of Romeo and Juliet, the result was terrible. But a question arises for all of us: what would have happened if this story had continued? They would likely continue to fight their families’ constant attempts to tear them apart. However, if the impediments no longer existed, it is likely that disenchantment would arise.

This happens to many couples who suffer from the Romeo and Juliet effect. When problems no longer harm the relationship, two things can happen: they create difficulties, generating absurd arguments, or they break up the relationship because they start to get bored.

Before, the couple was everything, they captured all the attention, but when dopamine is no longer present, this changes, as indicated in the article Neurobiology of love , causing them to start fixating on other people with whom they can experiment, again, this increase in dopamine.

dopamine addiction

Many people are addicted to dopamine. They are unable to be in a relationship if there are no problems, difficulties and extreme situations that make them feel this hormonal surge and excitement. This is a big problem, because they tend to believe that love is that, constant struggle and effort.

Also, if there are circumstances where third parties try to separate them, so much the better. However, while this initially enlivens the relationship, it can also end up wearing it down.

It is quite possible that we have experienced the Romeo and Juliet effect ourselves, or that we have seen it in other people. In any case, it’s not healthy to be in a relationship like that.

What should move two people together is not the problems but the tranquility and well-being of creating a balanced life together. Have you ever had relationships that were under the influence of Romeo and Juliet?