Authenticity: The Mirror That Does Not Deceive
We are used to moving in a world of false appearances, frustrated attempts to be who we are not, and persecutions, almost police, of an ideal that on many occasions does not correspond to us. It is at this point that we must ask ourselves what authenticity is…or at least try to reverse the search for an ideal unattainable by our true essence!
Adults also play at being who they are not.
We’ve been taught to play roles since childhood, as if it were a series that brings the family together on Wednesday night in front of the television. We can go to a school and observe this often. As in team sports, such as volleyball or basketball, positions are also designated in a child’s life, from when the child is very young.
Maria will be the first in the class (You can’t go wrong!), Guilherme will be the fun one in the class (You can’t be sad any day!) and Elisa will be the “stranger” of the class that will always be alone (Because she wants to be or because inevitably always isolate the “weirds” from the class?).
In school, as in adult life, we play a series of imposed roles that are unalterable. They often help us survive in this jungle in which we live. However, in many others, far from helping us survive, they hurt us so deeply that it is only when we are adults that we will be able to perceive and identify their dire consequences, since we have renounced our authenticity.
Going against authenticity comes at a very high price!
This price involves:
- Have somatic problems.
- Have the feeling of inner emptiness.
- Feeling constantly frustrated no matter what we do.
- Living apart from our deepest needs.
But… to live authentically, we should first be honest with ourselves and be able to recognize that we are daily drifting away from our true SELF. Once we become aware of this, we can begin to place our senses at the service of the search for our one and last primordial essence.
As we are aware of the most essential needs, we can meet them in an honest and healthy way. If I know I need affection when I’m down, but I’m “the tough one” in the family and “I can’t allow it because this family depends on me and my strength”, maybe I should start thinking about WHAT I really need : follow a pattern imposed by society or acknowledge my feelings and ask for help.
To be honest, we have to be brave
Little by little, in these micro-acts of self-love and authenticity towards ourselves, we can give back to ourselves the power so immense that we are losing when we try desperately to adapt to the molds that others impose on us. Think that pursuing an ideal, or an image that is not one’s own, is an exercise as arduous as it is useless for our happiness.
It’s like trying to climb a steep incline. The legs will suffer, they will need to recover from time to time. The mental fatigue will be brutal. And the feeling of fatigue and meaninglessness will be constant. Instead, being authentic is an equal or even harder path, because sometimes not betraying yourself means going against the path that the social pressure we live in forces us to take.
However, the rewards along the way will be authentic, and motivation won’t have to struggle with the dissonance between what you feel and the destination you imagine. We can breathe fresh air and not drown in it. We are free to stop because we want to, not because the weight of cheating on us forces us to stop.
Therefore, being authentic, finally, is a path of sincerity with oneself. It’s an act of bravery. It is the greatest act of love and respect for yourself that we can have. Our social relationships will improve as you no longer play roles and positions that don’t match you. You will start to respect yourself and, thus, to respect the true essence of others. Would you dare to tread the path of authenticity? You have nothing to lose!
