7 Tips For Ending A Fight

Discussions are normal. We have differences of opinion with our partner, friend, co-worker. The problem is when fighting gets out of our control and we start offending the other, bringing up themes that are not related to the fight itself, just to win the battle.

we need to learn to fight

Exchange ideas, listen to the other side, and then close the subject, bringing peace back to the center. If that doesn’t happen, we are left brooding on hurt and resentment without solving the problem. When we build up all that anger, in the next conflict, which doesn’t have to be with the same person, we’re going to come in armed and ready to attack. This vicious circle needs to be broken and the power is in your hands. You need to be a little cold-blooded, but by following some basic tips  you can end a fight without causing major trauma.

7 tips to end a fight 

1- Listen – How many times are you in a discussion and do not listen to what the other says because you are thinking of answers and arguments that will silence the “opponent”? Instead of doing this, listen carefully to what the person has to say. Reflect on your words and only then react. Pay attention not only to the other’s words, but to the intention of the other, and try to understand their point of view. Thus the discussion takes a more rational and less reactive turn.

2- Don’t yell or offend – It’s tempting when we argue with a hard-head to get into your game. Remember that losing respect is not going to make things easier, quite the opposite. You end up losing the focus of the fight and start arguing about the other swearing or raising his voice. Keep civility.

3- Affirm that you care about the other – Even when we are angry with a friend or partner, deep down we feel affection for them. Reminding him of these feelings brings empathy and a willingness to resolve the conflict. Show that you care about the other person’s feelings, but that you also have your own. Put love above everything else.

4- Be open to acknowledge your mistakes and apologize – Even if you are sure you haven’t done anything wrong, if the other person is upset with you, something has happened. You will discover this by actively listening. Open your heart and know how to recognize your flaws. By apologizing, you encourage the other to apologize too.

5- Don’t bring up past problems – Unless the previous questions are directly related to the current fight, don’t rehash old fights just to win the argument. This only increases the anger and prolongs the screaming.

6- Give space – If the fight starts to get out of control, ask for time to cool off, reflect and get back to talking when the two are calmer. This will give the discussion a new perspective and allow you to regain control of the situation.

7- Know when to stop – Did the other acknowledge their responsibility and apologize? End of fight! No need to dwell on the topic. Did you realize that you are not going to come to a conclusion now? End of fight. Agree that you disagree, but that you love each other and move on. This is perhaps the hardest tip, but it is also the most precious. You know the saying: “When one doesn’t want, two don’t fight”? Well, that’s it. Take your team out of the field and let the other team fight alone if that’s the case. Soon he will realize he has no more fuel and will stop.

Anyway, get into a fight to solve it, not to win. That’s the key to ending endless arguments. If you and your partner are fighting a lot and often, it’s worth seeking professional help. Here are some advantages of doing couple therapy: http://bit.ly/2aG6jGQ

Look for balance and all your relationships will come out stronger.