5 Keys To Overcoming A Breakup

When a love relationship ends, it is normal that a grieving process begins for the two people involved, and even for a family member. Grief is meant to process the loss that has occurred in our life and help us adapt to the new situation and deal with the breakup.

It’s a very painful but necessary process. If grief is not experienced correctly, it can result in a major blockage, which can be perpetuated through behaviors such as “mummification” (not throwing away any object of the ex-partner) or avoidance (breaking with everything that has to do with he or she). This will not help us to properly manage what happened.

It is normal that in the beginning it is necessary to mourn the loss, get angry and take that person out of our life… Human beings are capable of feeling a lot of physical pain, but also a lot of emotional pain. Do not deny yourself the possibility of experiencing this phase of your life, do not resist.

On the other hand, as we’ve already said, it’s just a stage in life. When we feel bad and others notice, we usually get more attention and care. But as comfortable as you feel, don’t get caught up in your pain. The process is similar to what happens when we suffer a muscle injury: there must be a rest period, but then we need to start with muscle rehabilitation, although we are already used to a sedentary life.

This is where we must act with willpower, and the environment also plays an important role. If you are part of this environment, even if you believe that it is time for the other to leave, the strategy of using censorship to motivate you is not the best option, although it is more comfortable. On the other hand, the attitude of wanting to protect you, so that you never face the dangers of the “real world” again, is also not the best strategy.

Tips to get over the breakup of a love relationship

1- Don’t be alone

Social relationships are a source of comfort and heal the soul. Friends, co-workers, family and anyone with whom we feel comfortable have enormous power to ease our pain and reduce negativity. If we have company, we will make more plans, we will talk, we will have more fun, we will meet new people and, finally, we will open new doors in our lives.

2- Act

Do not stop. You may not be willing to do all the activities you did before, but it doesn’t matter. Do the same way. You just need to get out of bed, shower, get dressed and act. Inactivity traps us in our negative thoughts and we create a vicious circle: negative thoughts-inactivity, inactivity-negative thoughts.

3- Abandon the victim role

You’ve been abandoned, it’s true, but that’s not unusual. We’ve all been through this. People survive these adversities, rebuild their lives and manage to be happy despite all that. Why not you? You are no different from other people who have gotten over a broken relationship. But, these people didn’t feel sorry for themselves or said over and over again that “they’re not lucky”, that they “are unhappy”, etc.

Despite the setback we are experiencing, the only option is to continue living and see yourself as a phoenix, which is capable of being reborn from the ashes, and never as a hopeless victim.

4- Give thanks for everything you have

Relationship is not everything in your life. There are other very important aspects such as health, work, family, leisure, friends, hobbies… Why do we only focus on what we lost? The ideal is to reverse this way of looking at life and give thanks for everything we have.

Every day, write on a piece of paper how grateful you are for everything you have. You will find that you really have a lot more than you need in many areas, and that love is just one area of ​​your life that will be okay when the time is right.

5- You don’t need a partner

Human beings, contrary to what you might think, need very little to be happy. Francisco de Assis said: “With each passing day I need fewer things, and the few I need, I need very little.” Nobody needs a partner to be well, let alone someone in particular.

A partner needs to add and should be chosen based on freedom, not the inner void that we don’t know how to fill. If not that way, we cannot call it true love, and it probably won’t be a lasting relationship.

If you’re going through this situation and realized that your grief should have ended a long time ago, internalize these five keys and move on. If you find yourself improving, rejoice in your accomplishments and, above all, be constant. Helping yourself is hard work, but it’s worth it.